God doesn't love me in spite of my flaws. He knows me. He created me. He loves me flaws and all. He knows when I am having a rough day, a day when I feel like noone is listening, He is.
I had one of those days recently. I expect that you might think I took the high road, stepped back, counted to ten, prayed to my Heavenly Father, read the Word and sang a praise song. I admit I did not (although I wish I had).
With each incident I became more and more irritated. I started snapping at my kids and my husband.
Then the shame sets in. Why was I acting like this? Why?! I tell myself it is because noone listens to me. Those always, never, and noone statements we all say to try and make our point. The ones that are not always full of truth. My statement was untrue. My Heavenly Father listens. He hears every word. The cries of joy, the wails of grief and pain, the whispers of defeat and sadness, He hears them all. And
Ps 56:8 NLT "You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book."
HE KNOWS. He knows every joy, fear, worry, hurt, kindness. Not only does He know, He has the answer.
I made a mistake. I let my emotions carry me away. We all have emotions, and they are not inherently wrong, but we can't allow ourselves to be ruled by our emotions. Sometimes we have to stop and press the reset button. What is your reset? How about the things I mentioned above? Distance, reading the Word of God, listening to praise music. Remembering and rehearsing God's promises. How about reminding ourselves to think on the good.
Phil 4:8 NLT "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."
But God doesn't condemn us. When we are "tested", when we start to lose ourselves in our emotions, know it can be a chance to grow.
James 1:3-5 "For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking."
Apologies made. Thoughts readjusted. Seeking wisdom. Sharing. Flaws and all.